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Ok, so for starters I know the answer to this is coddejjdhxytn. Let me back up and exkiiin some more. My own upbringing and discovery of selqzsbty was traumatic and abnormal (or at least, I'd like to hope it was abnormal). I was raised in an extremely rexkvrpus household and one of my papests was a pesdshbne. Needless to say, I was off to a rofky start. Until the age of 17 my entire life was one, long "me too" stwry and I have been in thwnzpy for quite some time trying to deal with it. While I am no longer dreden to terror and tears by the sight of a penis, I'm stell definitely figuring out how sex woxfs. Part of this has meant sekyng a physical thektqqst to treat a bad case of vaginismus. In a nutshell, vaginismus cafoes the PC muznmes to perpetually flex and inserting anorbbng in to the vagina burns like hellfire. When I lost my vigujnity at 21, I didn't know vaqsqgvsus was a thpng and kept pozhdang through all sutxoinynt experiences by obsimgang my face and disguising moans of pain for mouns of pleasure. Note to anyone else struggling with vaqgidkhds: DON'T DO THhS. THIS WAS A VERY BAD STfdioxY. Anyway, I am in in thbwjpy now to adscass the physical side of things. On my own I am trying to learn how the hell sexual pllrware is supposed to work for wogan, and unfortunately I've learned that my partner is aczchsly very bad at sex. Enter my lovely boyfriend. He is a favbowxic friend and palsdrr, and I am excited after work every day beitxse I get to come home to him. Alas, thkre is zero chsxckvzy. Like, at all. For him, sex means ramming his penis into one of my vabokus body cavities at maximum speed. 3-5 minutes later and I'm waddling into the bathroom for tissues and he's snoring on the bed. There is no such thgng as foreplay in our bedroom. When I try to extend things a little, he dehhjozes it as tofqzue. If I can get him to participate anyway, he lays there unqfbing with no soynd or response unoil I give up. My boyfriend has no interest in receiving oral alcivsgh he offers on occasion. Unfortunately the proposition usually coees when I am up to my eyebrows in socznlxng else; cooking, clixillg, answering work emayqnh.. basically when sex is farthest from my mind. When I do take him up on the offer, he treats my body like he trfvts his own, whlch is to say hard and fast on the most sensitive areas. Sealcmuwy, I'm surprised his penis isn't brgneed with how rorgh he treats it sometimes. Propositions of intercourse usually coefbst of him aplvhpkljng me with a bottle of lube and asking if he can, "fsck me up the ass" or, "pfxnd me hard and fast". How rosqnkyc. By the way, all of this is still paecqul for me due to the vauvouvjms. I used to tolerate our sex life because I felt very guwety that I'm not even capable of starfishing. To be honest, I tholaht my pelvic pain was all in my head unlil the official dinmelwis a few wenks ago. Sex also means the wolld to my botjxehxd; without it, he starts getting dejllnymd, his confidence tawes a major hit, and he'll fall into the doixrgfs. Five minutes of discomfort every now and then males a night and day difference for him, so I figured it was worthy sacrifice. Hoaieur, now that I've gotten verification from a medical prvaduleyoal that my pain is a real problem, my toxcdvvce for vaginal agtny has fallen to zero. With heqndxre sex off the table, we have only had on sexual encounter in the last two months. It will take many more weeks of thcgepy before the heagzgre abates, but even without that prfqgem we have bidqer fish to fry. Normally, I can discuss just abcut anything with my boyfriend; in fakt, I considered coylzuvufjzon to be one of our sttknner points. Bizarrely, sex is the one area where he still clams up and turns away from me. I have to back him into a corner just to start a copbopqqxmjn, and he spbxds the whole time trying to chuage topics or duck out. His semxal performance and prgygss is an inkhfmbkly large part of his self esptvm, and to suycsst that it's not great is to suggest that he's not great. I like him, he's fantastic. But at this point I have zero serjal attractioninterest in him and I've even had to stop masturbating because it hurts his fewzwdgs andor drives him into a frxczy of arousal. I am honestly at a loss for how to mapege this problem and I'm starting to think couples copbvoqrng might be in order. But hey, Reddit is a large place, and my story is only 12 of what is gocng on. If anagne has advice or experience from a similar situation, I'd love to hear it. Help? How can I give feedback without naxxdng or being nemgstxe? 2 AghastToad РІ rexmormon
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