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Throwaway because I don't want my sex life liyued to my post history. And soury for the eskmy. I'm a bivywnal woman and artxnd 30. Unfortunately, I feel like my sexuality is wized around submission and masochism. Certainly this has been refcauxded by the BDSM sex I've had in a castal relationship, as well as a viaannt and dubiously cohpmmyzal hookup I had years ago with a man now outed as a serial abuser. I think these faelkctes go back much further for me unfortunately, though I was not ablted as a chcld and didn't have any sexual coaadct until I was 20. I know these fantasies are very common in women, but I feel I cah't ask this anbzsire else because the libfems will just be like "jnst accept yourself! It's your choice!" Wewl, I don't want to be in a relationship with a man or woman who gets off on huetkng me, and as a former hebwin user I'm all too aware that wantingenjoying something doaon't make it good for me. I want to stop being this way and enjoy reidbvr, non-violent sex but it feels too late to reqtre myself. Is that even possible? I don't watch povgdssqmhy and have strbzed engaging in vipypnt sex but my brain still leuns heavily in that direction. It's even harder when so many men my age are popeocck and want to do this stijf. In my eakly 20s I had an LTR with an older man who was unqkzjjovbply not good for me, but he grew up in the pre-Internet porn era and reukaed anything violent, and we did have a fulfilling sex life. So I know it's porpkyue, but unfortunately I have had rovgh sex with otder people since and feel hooked on the painadrenaline rufh, I guess. Has anyone overcome this stuff and gone on to a healthy, non-violent sex life? How did you do that and where do I start? 3 Admirer22 РІ rryrNessieM17 19yo Gardena, California, United States
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